too short & too long

our whirlwind holiday trip came to a close upon our safe arrival in Balto yesterday afternoon. (we deplaned on to the tarmac & everything. did we step into a '60s movie? nope...) our visit was good - chock full of family gatherings, with a few friends sprinkled in here & there. actually, it was pretty exhausting. in my old age, i don't even sleep well in my old bedroom - just because it's not "home" - or because i suck. i slept the entire 2 hour flight back to balto & duration of the 45 minute train ride to the city. D ended up having to rush off to work as soon as we got in the door & i sat down to continue reading this fabulous book new book Eat, Pray, Love, (thanks, Marmy!). at some point, the growing weight of my eyelids took over, so i surrendered to a 15 minute disco nap. i woke up 2 hours later (in the same chair). sooo... my life is very very exciting.

earlier this week i asked my mom what i was like as a baby... dan & my friend katie previously shared the sentiment that they're just trying to get back to the way they were at age 11 or 12 - because that person is who they are in the fullest expression of themselves. i don't remember ever feeling that way. but i think parts of our personality probably always existed. maybe we're destined to have a particular disposition. my mom characterized me as careful, serious & quiet - an observer. she had to be careful what she said because i took everything literally. as far as i can remember, i have always been this way. i wonder if i was predisposed to be this version of me or if i learned it as a coping mechanism... hm. i'll never know. (although i don't really think of myself as serious. most people might see me that way though - unless they know me really well. i'm pretty silly.)

dan's mom said he was always very laid back & still is.... lucky bastard!

i finally got some holiday cards in the mail right before we left town. what a relief! i still have another 4 days off work & i'm not quite sure what to do with myself. katie may be coming down for a visit over new years. we shall see.

i close w/ photos of BABIES!

my little brother & my niece in their jammies, home sick the day after christmas. they may be sick, but they're still cute!

grandpa o'b & the newest member of dan's family, elizabeth. (she was sick too - but still very cute.)

my buddy, mama grass & little baby grass. not sick & very cute, although blurry. (those babies, they're wiggly worms.) during our visit, dan was sharing with him some sweet sweet dance moves.

mung-speriment

a few weeks ago, i was whining that 2 years in this job seems like forever. we're thinking about relocating sometime soon & i'm getting itchy. honestly though, there's so much going on during my work day - a wide variety & abundance of tasks - that i don't really notice the hours flying by. often times at the end of the day, i find myself wondering what the hell i've been doing for the last 8 hours. it was such a whirlwind of activity, i can't quite remember.

big D has been asleep for almost 2 hours. needing to catch up on some sleep & feeling under the weather.

we've got this white elephant gift exchange at work on friday & i'm a bit anxious about it. apparently most people bring gag gifts. i don't have anything that would be a good gag & i'm not into purchasing useless crap just so i can unload it on someone else. seems, um, LAME. hm....

we had dinner w/ my old boss & his family last night. had a good time. glad the shift from work relationship to social relationship hasn't been to bumpy or awkward. funny how i miss that job - parts of it anyway. a good relationship w/ one's boss is pretty amazing & rare. sharing similar opinions & ideas makes working together pretty damn easy. guess that's one of the challenges w/ the new gig. but challenge is good.

tried my hand at some vegan baking last weekend - blueberry applesauce muffins. they're not bad. not necessarily good either. a little too moist & gooey for a muffin. fluffy would be better. also, they turned green & that just makes them unappealing. the frozen blueberries started to defrost as i was folding them into the batter. not sure how the blue-purple turned green though...

on sunday i decided we should have a stir fry sometime this week. i'm sprouting mung beans in a container under the sink - hence the mung-speriment. it's so damn easy & kinda fun, in a mung-sperimenty kinda way. they're much fresher & last a lot longer than store bought sprouts. in my book, that's reason enough for the little bit of extra effort involved.

my big brother headed off to somewhere dangerous & unknown earlier this week. after many failed attempts, i eventually caught up w/ him before he left the US. hope he's safe & in good spirits wherever he is. i see lots of camel rides in his future. i'll be sending baked goods.

that's all i've got. i'm off to join big D.

cloudy saturday

lessons learned/relearned recently:

• "natural" deodorant doesn't always cut it. sometimes, it's best to use the bad stuff that makes my underarm skin peel off, clogs my pores & leaves me smelling fresh all day. (what this really means is, i've been eating crap/my digestion's been sub-par & there's been a build up of toxins - so, it's my own damn fault i smell horrible. TMI, i know.)
  
• sitting next to someone who is petrified of flying, while flying, isn't enjoyable, even if they're medicated. it's actually pretty terrible, in my experience.
• living in my own skin can be pretty uncomfortable at times. but it's ok to be me. (of course, i already knew this. but sometimes i forget.)
  
• finding good people to hang out with is difficult. i also know this & i know it well.
  
• making applesauce is pretty darn easy.
  
• sometimes it's important to DO something even when i'm tired & don't feel like it. doing it later doesn't always work out.
• i am a very lucky girl. INFP or not.
  

this week feels loooooooooooong. i'm so ready for the weekend. ugh.

been a good week for catchin' up w/ folks i haven't talked to in a long while. feels good. gotta get over the phone phobia...someday.

the guy i've had trouble w/ at work has finally labeled us as "not meshing well." it's true but it often feels wierd & uncomfortable when people confront issues. i mean, i'm glad to get shit out in the open, deal with it & go forward. often times i don't realize it's possible to change things. they just are what they are... turns out that's often times not the case. i'm interested to see what happens because of our "not meshing well." stay tuned.

have accomplished zero christmas shopping & that feels pretty good. i have to say, i wish it was easier to move towards celebrating the holidays sans purchasing gifts for people. not that i don't like giving gifts. i do. i guess, in my old age, i realize i'd rather spend quality time with people or do something nice for them & forget the purchasing of the stuff - although am a fan of useful stuff.

& so my brain is melting. i need to sleep.

rotator cuff - schmotator cuff

finally got around to seeing el doctor about my silly shoulder. (don't be angry, parents. i did see my regular doctor a few months ago about it. but it's still bugging me so i went to a specialist.) anyway, i've decided bodies are like cars. of course when you finally take in the broken "vehicle", there doesn't seem to be a problem. pooh. well, she's a cool doctor & i got some new exercises to try out. she said i could definitely go to a physical therapist if my shoulder gets angry again.

stop fighting & you can have some texas toast

been a while. not much going on at the moment. had a good turkey day w/ dan & katie. the three of us spent the afternoon slaving in the kitchen. some other folks joined us for the dining portion of the evening & that was pretty fun - tasty food, wine & games. good times were had by me for sure (& i'm pretty sure other people enjoyed themselves too). (i added a new recipe to my favorites - collard greens w/ browned onions. delicious! went over well at our turkey day dinner - w/ folks who enjoy greens, that is.)

at the end of the looong weekend, i helped pack up katie's car & watched her drive off into the sunset. not really. i did help pack the car though. i'm sad that she's not 3 blocks away anymore, but i think she'll have a great trip & i look forward to her return, someday - even if that means she lives behind our couch for a while.

not much else going on. work's become a bit more comfortable, which i appreciate. no fun feeling tense all the time. a few more weeks & i'll get my 3 month review. kinda looking forward to that... wonder how my supervisor thinks things are going...

got word this week that i can keep tending the garden over the winter! so glad about that. we - i guess it's "i" now - i have a lot of collards & kale & beets & carrots growing. took katie's compost bin over to the garden & now i have somewhere to put food scraps! that's pretty exciting stuff. i wonder if it's too cold in the winter for scraps to break down outside. hm...

so one of the workers at my job has alzheimers. it's pretty sad. he's such a nice man, but he spends so much time confused. it's become a safety concern recently - not a good idea to have someone who forgets what they're doing while they're doing, using power tools - or driving or anything, really. he doesn't have a retirement plan, i don't think. he's going to be in trouble when he can't work anymore. man... what a shitty way to go.

time to turn up the heat...