What is the lesson?

Went to a work happy hour tonight. Doesn't happen often. The last time I went was probably a year and a half ago. I don't think much of the regular happy hour crew. Based on past experience, happy hour is an extension of the bitching and gossiping about work that they do during work. Pretty exciting stuff.

But tonight's happy hour was different. It wasn't just with co-workers. It was also with several former co-workers... We've had A LOT of people leave over the last 8-10 months (approx. 1 person every 2 weeks or so) and there are a few of them I'd like to see again - one in particular. So I went. It was good to catch up with her & hear how her new adventures in teaching are going.

A current co-worker told me I should go to a strip club w/ him & some other folks because I need to do something a little more "left-of-center". What? Really? I need to go to a strip club because you think I'm lame? I was more annoyed than I thought I'd be at his judgement of me. Am I lame? I mean, yes, I probably am lame. I don't go to strip clubs, or get in fights at pool halls or... really, there are a ridiculous number of things that I don't do - too many to name. I know we all make judgements about people - that's how we get through life. There's a lot of guess work and judging to do. In the 3 years I've worked there, we've never had a conversation about anything but work or some stupid nonsense going on in his life. Don't know why I'm so irritated. We get along pretty well.

I guess I judged him as a lonely guy with a tough-guy attitude to hide behind so I always gave him the benefit of the doubt. Might be true. Might not.

What he thinks doesn't even matter though. It doesn't change anything about me or my life - except that I'm mildly annoyed right now. When will I stop caring what people think? I was going to say that I should at least stop caring about the opinions of those that I don't actually care about - but I realize I do care about him. I wish he wasn't lonely because that's a shitty place to be...

Rattlesnake stew

I woke up with rattlesnake stew stuck in my head yesterday. Never had it - but I'd probably give it a try if I had the opportunity, especially if Mr. Edwards was the chef.

Enjoying a Monday morning off work. The new work schedule (four 10-hour days) is a little rough so far. The first week or 2 were great - but I've run out of steam. I struggle to get through the second half of the day, my brain stops functioning... Tuesday morning's usually a big struggle - I'm never prepared. Considering going back to 5 days a week - but actually leaving at 4pm. Hm.

Went to a Quaker Meeting last night w/ my pal, Katie. I really enjoyed it. It's a fairly new meeting that's just forming. Most of the people are fairly young. We attended a meeting before the actual meeting where they talked about the beliefs of the first Quakers. It made a lot of sense to me - I felt like they were talking to me. During the actual meeting, there was an hour of silence - which didn't seem like an hour at all - where a couple of people got up & said something thoughtful. Someone talked about the struggle for balance in life & the difficulty of listening to your inner voice. I had a terrible time quieting my mind. Stupid Katy Perry songs swimming around in my head. Now that I've typed this, they're playing Katy Perry on NPR. Ugh. Get out of my head! Anyway, I'm planning to go back again. It seems like a good group. I'm hoping to find my way out of the "recovering Catholic" mindset that's kind of squashed me for a long long time. So - we'll see.

My new group started 3 weeks ago. The most diverse group so far, I think - good mix of ages, religions, races, life experiences & probably lots of other things. So far, only one girl seems different than I thought - a little less mature than I would have liked. Or I might be reading her wrong - we'll have to wait & see.

Waiting for D to get home from some work meetings. Wonder how we'll spend the rest of this beautiful day...

Myrtle & Florian come for a visit