I found out today...

That my previous boss passed away yesterday.  He was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in mid-May and had less than 3 weeks to live.  Wow.  I'd thought about him from time to time in the last 2+ years since he lost his job.  He was a very nice man.  Very different than my current boss.  My current boss kicks ass at with brilliant ideas and he's incredibly knowledgeable.  He's also "nice" but not someone I trust.  He doesn't deal with stress and frustration well at all - screaming at people, throwing folks under the bus left and right.  He can be pretty nasty.  Though he's never blown up at me, he makes me feel like a kid again.  I feel anxious and anticipate that he will lose it and completely blow up at me - and then I would totally lose it.  It's no fun to feel like a ball of knots.

I had forgotten how much I liked my previous boss until I looked back at this old blog post I'd written the day I found out he lost his job.   He was a pretty great guy.  Not too good at the job, but a really great guy.  Lots of integrity.  Everything was really chaotic and stressful when I worked with him - which may or may not have had anything to do with him - I much preferred working with him than the current kick-ass time-bomb.  I was sure I'd run into him somewhere, sometime...  It just never happened and now I know it won't happen.  And I feel sad about that. 

I'm sure getting fired is shitty.  But it's also shitty for the people who worked with them - because it's like they died.  They're just gone.  No explanation.  And everything continues in their absence.  Time continues to pass.  Projects move forward.  New people are hired.  Other people move on. 

But he didn't die.  Until yesterday.

Life is strange.

Missing gal pals

If you were here I'd probably tell you that Samuel's finally confident enough to walk across the room - so exciting! Work is exciting, frustrating and really busy these days.  I think we're headed in the right direction but I have no idea when we'll actually get THERE.  It seems like we never get THERE.  I'm not sure who's actually steering this ship.  I'd probably tell you a lot more about it and it might get really really boring.  So maybe it's good that you're not here.  :)

Life feels a little exciting in general.  Probably due to the unknown - or what I consider the unknown - about Dan's job situation at the end of summer.  Sure, it makes me anxious and nervous.  But there's not much to do about that at the moment.  Hopefully I won't use the entirety of his 10 weeks off to work myself into the ground.  Would be nice to enjoy a bit more time together, some family time, and maybe get some things accomplished around the house.  Aaah.  The never-ending list of to-do's.  (Yeah, I know that doesn't get an apostrophe but it looks stupid without it...)

We/I joined a babysitting coop recently.  Sat for 2 other kids, a baby and our kid last Sunday for a few hours.  It was a bit hairy but not too bad.  Looking forward to having other folks hang out with our kid so we can accomplish something around here. (For $0!)  That probably won't go very well because our kid spends so much time with us.  He tends to freak out when he's in a new environment without one of us.  Good example - day care at the gym.  Let's hope that gets better real soon!

A good buddy who I thought completely fell off the face of the earth suddenly reappeared the other day.  I couldn't believe it.  Might be seeing her this Friday.  Trying not to get my hopes up too much as it might not pan out. 

I've been thinking so much about work lately that I'm having a good deal of trouble sleeping.  Never fun.  It's not that I'm worrying about work - I'm a little anxious about all the things I need to do and would like to do.  And I'm excited to have the freedom to do them.  Just not sure I can get it all done and I don't quite have a handle on prioritizing these things because there are just so many and of course I have limited/almost no supervision.  Some people might kill for no supervision but I need it, at least every once in a while. 

It's raining a lot these days.  The garden's looking good but the plants seem somewhat stunted compared to other gardens...  Wonder why.  Whatever - as long as the veggie plants don't fail, it's fine.