they lost our shit

so, today was the big day. we were supposed to hear from the city about the driveway. surprise, surprise - they lost our paperwork & have no record of it. the whole time i was on hold waiting for them to find our paperwork, i was almost physically choking with anxiety. will they say yes & we'll be extatic? will they say no & we'll be crushed? i didn't even realize that losing it was an option. aaah, baltimore city. why do you have to suck so bad?

the commute

since starting voice lessons a few weeks ago, i've taken up practicing in the car. it's the only "private" place - where i can't bothering anyone for more than a few seconds. the drive to & from work is so routine, it's a perfect time for vocal exercise.

i decided to fit in a little extra practice yesterday morning as i drove to a meeting in annapolis. at some point, i changed lanes a few blocks before the highway. next thing i know, some crazy f**k is honking incessantly, tailgating me, flicking me off, pointing at me in the mirror w/ both hands, yelling at me in the mirror, trying to run me off the road... it was a great way to start the work week. at first i dismissed the fool. why get so bent out of shape? i'm 99% sure i checked before changing lanes (though i was singing scales so it is possible that i wasn't paying as much attention as i should). after a few minutes of this honking-flickingoff-tailgating crap, i got a little freaked out. the guy looked INSANE - just filled with rage! i felt like he wanted to kill me. he cut in front of me at his first opportunity & attempted to slow down & get next to me. with morning rush hour traffic, it didn't pan out that way so he was in the lead as we got on the highway. he couldn't let it go... so he slowed waaaaaay down to a ridiculous speed. but i maintained the rear & after 5 or 6 miles of super slow driving, i merged onto another highway & was finally rid of him.

in retrospect, it's a little odd that i felt so vulnerable in this situation. i was in a car - a minivan. a big piece of metal that was going pretty fast. he wasn't able to touch me. but i was definitely afraid.

it's strange to me that some people flip out so completely over the stupidest shit. seriously. i mean, i get annoyed w/ other drivers sometimes & i might talk to them in my car in a sarcastic tone. but that's it.

i miss being able to walk to work. i thought doing vocal exercise in the car would make the drive seem worthwhile. & some days, it does. but most days, it's just not worth the frustration. only 5 more weeks until my work moves 20 minutes further away.................

go prune juice!

synopsis of the week:

• Monday: somewhat-painful but relaxing acupuncture (i really like the acupuncturist & want her to be my friend)
• Tuesday: newbies started @ work. had lots of doubts about one of the guys. he wasn't there for a day & i started getting complaints about laziness, etc. oh good! plus, he makes this bizarro 'click' sound before he says anything. i drives me a little bonkers. i hope he doesn't suck. met the driveway guy in the pm & he was reassuring.
  
• Wednesday: a long day of inspections @ our possible future home... some things were better than we thought (the roof) & some things were worse (the mold in the basement making us all feel sick; cracked sewer line in the basement & lots of roots in it outside).
• Thursday: back to voice lessons after a week off. the teacher is still nutty as all get-out, but i enjoy her. (what does that even mean, "all get-out"? does anyone else use that phrase or is it just my family?)
• Friday: loooooong day at work w/ a meeting that ran an hour longer than i thought. evening of babysitting the finnster @ P&T's. he's pretty adorable & super laid-back. it was a fine time. (though hanging out w/ babies makes it difficult for me to pretend i don't want children.)
• Saturday: mortgage discussion... hopefully we'll get this all squared away on Monday cuz it's making us nutty. gardening. my, do i have lots of peppers - green, a few red and lots of jalapenos. giving a green tomato recipe a whirl. think i f'd it up though. we'll see. D-bone is home!!
  

met with a driveway guy tonight. seemed promising. inspections tomorrow. feeling a little anxious that the plumber isn't going to show...

d's at the U2 concert. we gave the 2nd ticket to one of the new recruits at work. had 2 new folks start today. got some negative comments about one of them & that's no good... ugh. oh well.

i'm looking forward to curling up in bed & reading! no work tomorrow! yippie!

i need to pay my library fine

quick weekend getaway to stl for a family wedding. a good visit. restful and uneventful. tasty greek food w/ gena. the zoo w/ my bro & niece. hangin w/ the folks. cards w/ my grams.

back to the grind today. one new recruit is already having serious issues w/ his supervisor. funny thing is i saw this coming 1000 miles away. i knew there was an ego issue before i offered the position... how do you tell someone who doesn't even make minimum wage to stop being a wanker?? guess i have to figure that out. someone else got canned today. it's been a couple of months & everything seemed to settle down but this'll shake it all back up again i'm sure. i'm afraid part of her work will fall on me & i can't handle it.

everything's feeling a little crazy right now. find a mortgage. find an inspector. apply for a zoning appeal... & yet this doesn't seem any more real. well, maybe a little bit. are we really buying a house?? jeeeeeeeeezus. what the hell are we getting ourselves into??

don't jinx me!

ever since i wrote my super complainy blog post, i've had nothing to complain about. & no it's not because i got it out of my system. the problem has miraculously disappeared. thank you nicotine gum or our landlord or whatever magical faerie descended on our crappy apartment & made things better. i hope that doesn't mean the guy died & the place is about to start smelling like rotting flesh...

it's all about me really. no concern for him or his loved ones - just me & my nasal passages & lungs.

how long will these good times last?

end of week 2

between moving & work & house negotiations, it's been a long crazy stretch. turns out this cute new apartment is the worst hell hole ever. i have avoided writing because i have little positive to say. being in here makes me angry & i expend a lot of energy thinking about how much i want to strangle our downstairs neighbor for filling our apartment & our lungs with his stupid stupid smoke. it's awful. i woke up last night & felt like i couldn't even breathe. it was horrible. i'd like to burn this place down (so we don't have to live here anymore & we don't have to move our stuff anywhere else).

met with our realtor today for what we hope will be our final offer & contract signing. it's been a long stretch of negotiations for this damn place. d & i were at each other's throats today about the zoning variance. do we really need a drive way? do we need to get approval before we buy it? it all boils down to neither one of us wanting to spend one more day in this hell hole apartment. it's hard to stay rational & realistic when you're exhausted & miserable. & so it goes.

my 2 weeks of insanity at work is over & i survived. the new crew has arrived & is undergoing training. one of them was assaulted (mugged & beaten in CV) last week - horrible! they're a laid back crew. i don't feel as pumped about them as the previous crew, but we'll see how they do. i'm always apprehensive in the beginning.

at the end of the week i make a quick trip to the lou for a cousin's wedding. should be fun (& hopefully relaxing...)