it came & went

i had my job interview today & i don't feel all that positive about it. i left the interview feeling sad & beaten down & that's never fun. i didn't think i got my hopes up about the whole thing. i wasn't sure i'd like the job once i found out the nitty gritty about it. i'm not sure if my interviewer was trying to scare me or not but i left feeling like i wasn't the right person for the job. i'm not a "bulldog" - that's how he explained part of the position... a bulldog. it's hard to explain as i don't want to go into specifics on the blog. also, i'm not sure i have the right personality to deal with conflict & personality issues. then again, we're all adults, right? it's not like dealing with middle schoolers, right? or maybe it is & i already know that's not my strong suit. also, i can't make a huge time commitment since i've got this whole grad school plan.

so the rest of the day was kind of pointless. i was just feeling BAD. guess i got my hopes up thinking this job would surely save me from my current mind-numbing job & i'd be around lots of cool people & i'd learn lots of interesting things. when i got home, i convinced dan to go out to lunch w/ me even though he was in the middle of eating a large bowl of cheerios. he's such a good sport. so we tried this little place in the neighborhood that we've never been , carma's cafe. it was cute but i wasn't terribly impressed w/ my food. after that, there was a lot of laying around trying to take a nap while post-interview thoughts swirled around in my head. then off to the gym. katie joined me this evening for talking & drinks. we talked about how difficult it is, not knowing what we're doing w/ our lives. woe is us. we're actually incredibly lucky people. healthy. no major problems.... just struggling to find the right place in the world. it was good to hang out & commisserate w/ someone over the trials & tribulations of constant confusion.

& so my boss is out of town for the next few days & i'm free to jack around all i want. hopefully i'll fill most of my time w/ interesting things. think dan & i may go hiking tomorrow in a new spot. katie has suggested patapsco valley park as it has beautiful trails & water - canoeing & tubing, etc. should be fun. we might have another adventure when we're both off tuesday. maybe monday will be a labor day B-B-Q of hot dogs & meat for the meat eaters! we might make pepsi stoves . who can say? life's an adventure, right. right.... WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING?