who's steering this ship?

in the midst of all the craziness and activity at work, a resume passed my desk & ever since i read it, i've been wishing it was mine. yet again i was reminded that this [job, daily structure] is not what i want my life to look like... damn you, procrastination and excuses! i create you at every turn & cuddle up in the anxiousness and confusion you create, somehow convincing myself that this is how life has to be right now. i think there's very little truth in that statement, but i'll have to get off my ass & do something to prove it.