jeezus it's almost thursday

on fb just now i saw that someone i worked w/ when i first moved to baltimore had a baby earlier this week. it's freaking me out! she'd never even done taxes or had a job when we started working together. it's funny that in my mind she's stayed the same age she was when we last spent time together. freaking me out. seriously.

oh stupid fb - i too want to quit you... or just create a whole different me that's just for people i'm actually friends with. it went down hill when folks from work found me. ugh. & it allows me to be lazy & feel connected to people when i'm not. i should actually call them.

do you ever wonder, "WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING!?!?!" i've been thinking that a lot lately. my job feels so damn miserable. i feel so ineffective...for the 9th month in a row. i have lots of interests - which is a good thing - but the fact that i haven't got one solid area of skill is waring on me. especially in this job where i have to multi-task & do too many things. i can't do anything well. how can i make it better? get an intern? do i want to deal w/ that? or do i just want to get rid of L? i want to get rid of L & i want an intern. L makes me nuts even though i try not to let him. why did i make us sit near eachother?? stupid stupid stupid!!

part of me wishes i was 63 instead of 33. i'm tired of trying to figure out this stupid job thing. would it be better if we all worked grueling long hours in factories and had no choices? no. but that would take a lot of this worry away. i'm sure i'd have plenty of other things to worry about.

will the world as we know it end in 2012? i hear it might. according to the mayan calendar. if that's true, then i only have 2 more years of trying to figure this crap out & then i can just focus on day-to-day survival. huh.

the CFO at my work today told me in a round about way that someone was going to be getting fired. i'm not sure why she shared this with me. all i can do is wonder who the hell it is!?!? i wish it was L but i know that's not the case.

a few weeks ago, i decided i should be a nutritionist. i realize that's probably not true, but it made that day at work seem a lot better - hopeful even. then i realized i could give a rat's ass about science.