the day or so leading up to the funeral, i felt hopeful in a way - like i was going to get to see her again. then i would remind myself that she wouldn't actually be there. because she died.

i haven't been the best friend the past year or so. not keeping in touch. living vicariously through facebook postings. sharing brief messages and comments. not calling. feeling like i knew what was going on in her life. but i didn't.

walking through the airport on my way out of town i was sure that was her up ahead. that familiar walk - i'd recognize it anywhere.

i was so grateful this woman i'd never met offered to go see her with me. when i looked in the casket and saw that it wasn't her, i was so relieved. after a few moments, she asked me if i'd said my goodbyes. i only shook my head 'yes' because i didn't recognize the body. that wasn't Dawn.