Quingers

another full week has passed. highlights/lowlights as follows:

1. trying to squeeze six years of flossing into one evening didn't work out. looks like i'll be getting some fillings.
2. physical therapist help & hurt... accidentally. it seems 2 "knuckles" in my mid-back have locked together because of some wacky pilates-based exercise i had to do... hm....
3. i truly hate shopping - especially for clothing. ugh. went to the mall tonight in an effort to update my wardrobe. nothing but crap. i don't really understand how people wear these clothes.
   
4. a shopping success story: i've been enjoying a new pair of pj pants for about a week now. bought 'em a few months ago & was about to return them, because i didn't feel i needed them, when dan convinced me to keep 'em. i'm glad i did - they're cute. i was able to retire one of my old pj pants that i've been wearing since freshman or sophomore year in college - roughly 13 years. the whole ass had recently ripped out...
   
5. started planting some seeds at the garden. slow going & i'm keeping my fingers crossed that they sprout. need more kale!
6. had to reject another applicant at work. it sucked - mostly because we'd talked on the phone a few times & emailed quite a bit... so, of course, this person immediately emailed me back that they were shocked & wanting to know why were they rejected. ugh.
7. had been feeling pretty positive about recruitment - the highs of getting strong applicants & interviewing them & the lows of great applicants accepting positions elsewhere... it's a little rough, but not too terrible. met w/ my supervisor at the end of the day friday & now i just feel crappy about it. he didn't say i was doing a bad job or anything like that. but i realized as he was giving me advice, that he would be much better at this than i ever could be. he's SO passionate about it & knows all the ins & outs & he's great with people... whereas, i'm not that passionate & i definitely don't know half of what he knows & i'm sure i don't paint the same picture he does about balto, etc. hm...
8. i need a freakin' haircut!!!!! my hair feels like a rat's nest. i think that's a phrase my mom used to use, "...like a rat's nest." well, i saw my first rat's nest recently & that's when i realized the state of affairs of my hair...
9. helped work on a green roof for a bit today. it wasn't as exciting as i'd hoped. but i did realize how glad i am that i left my old job. my old boss's new boss is a super huge jerk. i may not be in the right job, but at least i don't have that job.
   
10. Quaker Swingers = Quingers
    

my eyes are closing & i have to go to sleep now. i have 2 new recipes to share & i'll do so in the coming days, when i get a chance.

ode to cheese

just wanted to say, sometimes i'm wrong. i didn't choke or vomit or die when i ate my weirdo lasagna concoction at lunch today. it truly wasn't bad at all. kinda good even (with salt). i did miss the cheese though - so i'm home now wolfing some down to make up for it. a day without cheese is... real sad.

i'm not the one with the booger hanging outta my nose

it's been a good weekend. wasn't sure how it'd turn out, but i'm pleasantly surprised. D & i had some time to hang out yesterday before he went to work. my coworker, M, came over to cook with me in the afternoon. she & I have been trying to cook lunch once a week for each other so we'd both have one less day to worry about what we're eating for lunch. i've been a bit overwhelmed with work lately & trying to cook lunch for myself has been tough, much less feed one more person. (if it tastes like crap, i'll probably suffer through it, but i'd never give it to someone else. know what i mean?) anyway, M came over & said she wanted to cook lasagna because she enjoyed the lasagna i'd made over the winter a few times. we didn't have any of the veggies on hand but she wanted to do it anyway using what she brought (cabbage, carrots) & what i had (broccoli, onions, spinach, kale). i was down for the experiment... did i mention she's vegan? so, no cheese... :( anyway, we made this concoction that will most-likely be disgusting. truly. we made 2 small pans - 1 for her & 1 for me. i had a little silken tofu hanging around, so we used that as a substitute for the ricotta. yeah. at some point, during lasagna assembly, M was concerned that we'd run out of tomato sauce, so she added water to it (a lot of water). anyway, i'm just now preheating the oven to cook this disaster. i don't expect anything good to come out of it but i now know i need a solid plan before she comes over. i feel certain cabbage should never go in any kind of pasta.... (M is also German & eats lots of cabbage.)

last night i read through a bunch of applications for the positons at work. just haven't had time to get through them at work. i've got 20 applicants so far, for 8 spots. really enjoyed the interviews & reference checks i did last week. a big fan of the phone interview. i can make no judgements based on how they look, which is a good thing. although i can make judgements about how they sound. talked to this guy who's an eagle scout/assistant scout master (& in his application, one of his references said this guy could beat people up) & i was expecting a strong, manly voice. i was a bit shocked by the high-pitched nasal tone of his voice. i guess i make up stories about people as i read their applications...

i was supposed to attend a living roof workshop today - at the same site where i did the strawbale building workshop in march. this morning, when my alarm went off at 5:45, i decided to stay in bed. just needed more down time & 1 day of weekend wasn't enough. we had pretty heavy thunderstorms most of the day, so i felt good about staying here. D was off, so we had the whole day to hang out. our errands included sitting in the car for 50 minutes at Trader Joe's, listening to This American Life. it was this bizarre story about cryogenics. all in all, a good weekend, no matter how the "lasagna" turns out.

how does one make GOOD garlic bread?

end o the weekend

feeling a little frustrated today... with food... & food prep. why is it such a pain to eat vegetarian food? if i ate meat, lunch & dinner would be much easier. i wouldn't spend so much time thinking, planning & worrying about it. but i spend a ridiculous amount of time dealing with food. it's past the point of pissing me off. when i worked part time, we ate better food. i had plenty of time to feel inspired to try new things (some good & some not so good) & less crushed when something didn't turn out to my liking. & i wasn't rushed to prepare things so I was able make a lot more from scratch. i don't have time/energy for this game now. i come home from work exhausted. i don't have it in me to figure out what i/we should eat for dinner. i have about 10 things i really enjoy & d likes about half really well. but that's not enough variety. so, we're trying some prepared foods... frozen stir-fry in a bag & the like. we tried the crap in a box. terrible. does anyone have suggestions of fairly simple recipes we could try??? if you do, please e-mail them to me. i'd be forever in your debt for some new, easy recipes....

on a more positive note, had a great yoga class this morning. R, my favorite teacher, is amazing! there were only 3 people in class so there was a lot of individual attention, which was helpful because we were working on backbends. R is really thoughtful & introspective & i wish i could be like her in some ways. should we move away from baltimore any time soon, i think i would miss her class the most. that's probably a little sad... i need to make more friends. now that K is officially gone for a long stretch, my social circle has become nonexistent.... which is strange because when D & i went to the farmers market yesterday, we saw more people we know than ever before & stood around chatting w/a few of 'em. it was probably my favorite trip so far. life's funny like that. (on the way home, we stopped in an open house & that was fun. although the house wasn't that exciting - but i love being nosey.)

i spent yesterday afternoon & evening in the garden, continuing to prep the beds & clean out the remaining bed from last year. lots of weeding, path straightening (moving crap & putting down wood chips) & fertilizing w/ leaf mold (black soil the garden provides - i think it's composted leaves...). things are looking pretty sharp. e cut down some bamboo for me so i could build a trellis for vines & such. exciting. i'm such a nerd - i drew my plot out on autocad before we built it. but i think the building went pretty smoothly because we knew where everything went. go nerds!

back to work in the am... i have 3 interviews scheduled & i need to check one person's references. but i don't want to check them. i just don't like this person. he sounds good on paper... but i didn't get a good sense of who he was during the phone interview. he presented himself as being excellent at EVERYTHING & that's annoying... because it's not realistic. so, i don't know what to do w/ him. interview him again & specifically focus on his weaknesses, if he can find any? reject him because i just don't have a good feeling about it? it's all a big gray area. but is it a gray area of discrimination? am i allowed to go with "i just don't get a good feeling about him?" & if i do reject him, it'll probably have to be over the phone, which is extra lame. i gotta get a backbone.

the thing is, i've had a much easier time sleeping since i've started recruiting. it's actually challenging, whereas the rest of my day is not so much. or maybe i let the challenges slide right by me... whatever. i'm sleeping better & i wanna go where the sleep is...

i close w/ some alaska videos:

• Alyeska ski resort
• Turnagain Arm (me looking cold, in a big hat)
• Sledding in Matanuska Valley
  

brown thumb

d's been helping me in the garden quite a bit lately. we spent several hours on sunday cutting up scrap lumber & building some new raised beds. i decided to rent 2 plots this year soz i could grow hopefully a wider variety of stuff, a little more spread out. we got a lot done & it's looking pretty good.
i'm pretty sure the wood we used is going to fall apart pretty quick. i'm opposed to purchasing new lumber so i can put it in the ground & let it rot. doesn't make any sense to me. so i'll have to keep my eyes peeled for decent scrap wood in the near future.

i'm feeling pretty pumped about the plot. my seeds are beginning to sprout & i can't wait for everything to start growing. my good buddy, k, is off having a grand farming adventure in massachusettes & not here sharing the plot w/ me.

work's been keeping me busy lately. started recruiting & interviewing for next year's volunteers. wacky. i rejected my first applicant today & i felt terrible doing it. i'm hoping to learn a whole lot about interviewing, hiring & all that crap during this process. it's been pretty interesting so far. but it has the potential to suck. rejecting people is no fun. hope it gets easier.

started physical therapy for my shoulder right before the alaska trip. i think it's finally sinking in & feeling better. for the first few weeks, it was feeling much worse. i definitely feel improvement now, so that's good. i'm going to a "wellness center" where the therapist uses mostly pilates & some yoga to work the muscles. it made absolutely no sense to me at first, but now i'm getting it. i also bought a large rubber ball to sit on at work instead of a desk chair. that stupid thing makes my back hurt. we'll see what happens w/ the ball.

d & i just got back from a nice long walk to sherwood gardens. the tulips will be opening up soon. should be beautiful.

schmalaska & beyond!

so... been back for a while now. about 2 weeks. i've been crazy busy with no time to write since my return. work's been quite a bit better, actually. being able to step away for a while was really helpful. i realized, on my last night in alaska, that i'd wanted to gain management experience with this job... & i'd lost sight of that amidst all the madness of day-to-day work. so, some of the other crap that was bothering me before isn't such a big deal now. even my relationship w/ the guy i don't get along with seems improved. maybe it takes me 6 months to settle into a new job? ...or a new job where i work at break-neck speed all day without much supervision... anyway, things have improved & i'm so glad. sorry to everyone i bitched to about it. thanks for listening :)

s & c's street - the house in the center is theirs.

d & i posing at the turnagain arm

MORE PHOTOS OF OUR TRIP

alaska was pretty great & i recommend going, even in the spring. it really wasn't that cold. about 32 degrees, fahrenheit. lots of huge, beautiful mountains. lots of snow... i definitely enjoyed the slow pace of life in alaska. no one seemed to be rushing around - not even in the airport (which felt like a cross between a mall & a hospital... w/ dead animals around). you can't rush mother nature, i guess. if the visibility is zero & the roads are icy, you damn well better slow down. one afternoon, we were driving around with our friend & his brother (in a large 4-wheel drive truck) & we had one accident (slid into a plow-truck) & one near-accident (the truck slid sideways into the oncoming traffic lane & kept sliding down the road a ways). safe driving is no joke. we took some nice walks/hikes in borrowed Xtra Tuffs (insulated rubber boots you can wear tramping through tall snow & water). saw lots of avalanches (after they'd happened). we saw Matanuska Glacier & stayed in a cabin in the mountains (most amazing sunset & moonrise i've ever seen). did some super fun sledding in Matanuska Valley. enjoyed delicious meals (including a seafood feast w/ king crab legs, shirmp & mussels) & good company. our alaskan friends happen to be tour guides, so we learned quite a bit too. got to hear all manner of sensational tales of life in alaska - people dying in avalanches (or narrowly escaping them), people falling in crevices & surviving, a guy getting his face bit off by a bear (a guy our friends know). our friends have run into bears several times too. scary. and moose. we saw neither... alive. wish i'd been able to stay longer. d got to see the northern lights, took the tram up into the Chugach Mountains & walked on the flats (the fjord our friends live on - turnagain arm - drains completely when the tide is low & nothing's left but huge chunks of ice).

i recommend checking it out, if you can. it was weird to think, when we were there, that we were much closer to japan than baltimore. alaska is 4000 miles away. it was a great adventure.

and so it goes

been doing a lot of thinking/worrying about life lately. living in the moment is so damn hard. i went to a strawbale building workshop last weekend & as i was heading back to baltimore, i realized that my current job doesn't "feed" me. it's a funny phrase my friend katie & i use a lot. touchy-feely. i don't know why it's so difficult for me to find a job i enjoy. i seem to learn a little more about myself with each job i take. wish i could learn A LOT MORE real soon & stop taking jobs that aren't good fits for me.

the strawbale workshop was interesting & i'm glad i went. met a lot of folks who do all kinds of interesting things. one woman home schools her kids & has a 5 acre CSA with crops and animals. very cool. another guy, my team-mate, has a gray-water recycling business & installs composting toilets. he explained how they work & i'm intrigued to see & use one. hm. the reason i went to the workshop was to meet the woman who designed the building we worked on. i read about her a while ago & had been wanting to meet her for a few years. she's an architect who designs natural buildings & provides workshops during the construction so people who are interested can get some hands on experience & learn a little about it. pretty cool.

anyway, i've had a hankering to talk to the architect for a few years, so i went to the workshop. the first day, i felt like, "oh my god, it's her. i want to be her!" kind of irrational. the next day, i couldn't figure out what to talk to her about. on my way out, i made myself go & talk to her. & i'm glad i did. she said she combined design and construction because doing one or the other made her crazy - she was always missing the other activity. i hear that. i hate sitting at a desk all day & i really enjoy designing spaces & i also enjoy getting my hands dirty. it's nice to know there are other people out there like me - at least one other person anyway. she suggested deciding what my goals are & then choosing a path that would lead to those goals. i may not necessarily need to go back to school. so... goals... that's something to work on.

here's a short news story about the building & workshop:

http://your4state.com/content/fulltext/?sid=497a2fd23d58a02943f28bf02c7c18
df&cid=15764

work's been pretty b-o-r-i-n-g lately. it took me a long time to adjust & feel comfortable at work & now that i do, i don't feel challenged at all. i'm trying to focus more on what i can gain from this experience & not so much on what i can do for them. it seems impossible for me to get anything out of it because i'm not passionate about it.

so if i'm going to keep working there, i need to feel invested in some way. a worthwhile goal? maybe. it pays well & this is not the time to start job hopping. at the same time, my insomnia's been pretty terrible & i'm guessing it's because i'm anxious about work. stupid, i know. it's not like i'm sitting around worrying about it all the time. but i do worry about quitting & moving on to something else. & when are we going to have kids & how is that going to work out? & how can i have this job that doesn't exist that i think i'd really like? hm... so, i'm a bit crazy i suppose.

d & i are taking a trip to alaska a little later this coming week. i'm very much looking forward to getting the hell out of here & having an adventure.