i enjoyed my 4-day weekend... not as much as i thought i would but enough. i was nervous about work-related things i didn't finish for the first 2 days. i think i need to leave town when i have more than 2 or 3 days off so i have a clear break from work. anyway, d & i went on a short hike at Catoctin Mountain Park & that was pretty cool. i'd like to go back again... there was plenty o'time for just chilling, which i miss. i sat around & read a book for fun! screw you physics! um... oh, i also did a lot of physics. writing labs & whatnot. my gal-pal katie is heading back to b'more shortly & i don't want to be tied down w/ physics all the time. sunday was the best day though. i slept so well saturday night that i woke myself up laughing. i don't think that's ever happened to me before. (maybe it's the shoulder stand? i did it a few hours before bed @ they gym... my yoga teachers always say they're a great cure for insomnia but i never believed 'em.) anyway, i was up early writing more physics labs. i wrapped it up around noon, biked to the garden & worked for a few hours. it was great! there's something almost magical about being in the garden for me. there aren't too many places i can go & just be in that space. the garden is the only one i can think of... i'm just there doing whatever i'm doing & i'm only thinking about what i'm doing & nothing else... it was wonderful. my compost is looking so great - chock full of worms & grubs & all kinds of creepy crawlies. it's actually loud, if i put my ear close to it. there's a lot of action going on in there. makes me happy. i biked home with a backpack of kale & leeks. made a fat pot of potato-leek soup (sans dairy), some apple crisp & homemade veggie stock. d-bone & i hung out for the rest of the evening & it was great. a real good day.
today's a different story. back to work. i started wondering why i have this job. this is the part of the year where everything starts slowing down & i feel uber bored. kinda strange how it goes in cycles like this. in a few months i'll be wanting to tear my eyes out because i'm so stressed.
had a conversation at lunch with a coworker about living up to our potential. she watched a documentary about peace pilgrim, a woman who walked for 20-some years for peace. i don't feel too drawn to the documentary but the idea of living up to my potential is interesting... what does it really mean? ...
& i've also been thinking a lot about going back to school... or not. what to do? i'm not getting any younger & school/the idea of school is getting less & less appealing. & yet, it's still appealing. d & i talked about this & some general life stuff a week or so ago & i realized that i feel pretty disconnected from architecture & from all the things that get me excited to go to school & learn more. probably because my job has almost nothing to do with any of that... so, it is what it is. i think i need a few more free-lance gigs to re-evaluate my interest in school. i just started one last friday - for my supervisor. don't know what it is about him though. he kinda intimidates me. not sure if it's because he's my supervisor or what... in most respects, i just feel like he knows way more than me & so why should i bother putting myself out there. kinda stupid but there it is. i really enjoy chatting with his wife though. she's great.
... so that's about the size of it, i guess. other than that, been going to a new physical therapy place. it's great. the therapists are great. they totally kick my ass & it hurts, but i trust them which is a step in the right direction. i could never live like peace pilgrim cuz i need me some damn health insurance.
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