i wish dan wouldn't steal my titles

me at age 3 - a carpenter at heart from way back...

there's a lot to say & nothing to say, all at the same time. i don't know how that's possible. it seems like a lot of things have been going on - but i think most of the goings-on have occurred in my head. not too much happening here on the ground. i realized this blog has made it more difficult for me to process life. i don't do much thinking or journaling about my thoughts anymore. i expect to take more long breaks from blogging in the future to make time for personal writing. i guess that's just FYI. if i'm gone from the blog-o-sphere for a stretch, don't curse me too much (like i do you, every time i check your page & it says the same thing...)

so, what's happened lately? katie moved away this weekend & i was sad to see her go, though i know she'll have some great adventures, learning & time to build her farmer confidence in the next several months. i just wish we didn't have to stay here. baltimore's become this strange place where almost everyone else we know leaves... i've never been in a place like that before & i don't like it. i wish baltimore felt more like "home" - solid & secure, with lots of friends around. it's strange that i had a lot more friends during the first 2-3 years i was here than i do now. i hate this starting over crap. if i have to do it, i should at least have the joy & adventure of moving to a new place.

had a group of folks over from work the weekend before last & totally stressed myself out about it. so, it ended up kinda sucking because i wasn't relaxed. which i knew would probably happen because i don't know any of the people well, they hadn't been over before & i'm at least a little batty. so i went all crazy cooking & cleaning the hell out of our apartment (which doesn't happen often & i was glad to have the motivation for a good cleaning).

i turned 32 last week. it was unusually fun becuase i got to spend time with dan & with katie & we did something out of the ordinary (took a trip to DC & had ethiopian for dinner). the fun didn't stop there - it stretched into 2 days - the day of & the day after because i took the actual day off work. when i got to work on friday, my desk was decorated with lots of balloons & streamers. i felt pretty special. i had to share a baby picture & something about myself, which i'd spent an exceptionally long time thinking about because i wanted it to be funny. i think it went over well.

my brain is melting now & i have to go to bed.