diarrhea of the mind

life's been feeling a little crazy lately & so have i. sometimes exciting, sometimes depressing & everywhere else in between. could be my womanly times clouding my brain - i'm sure that's part of it.

there are some big changes being discussed at work. restructuring & whatnot. quite a few folks may lose their jobs. pretty crappy. what's wierd is, M is not driving me insane like she usually does. we've had some great conversations these last few weeks. many months ago M tried to convince me that the changes were going to be really terrible & i didn't want to hear it. everything she said felt so negative & rediculous. i thought she was crazy but in the last few months, i've realized she's right. M's been struggling to organize our colleagues to help them (& her) from losing their jobs. but it's a tough battle. people don't want to ruffle feathers - especially when their job might be in jeapordy. last week i decided to support her "out of the box" ideas & attended one of M's meetings. i don't give her enough credit for all the things she does. she makes me batty some times but she's really smart & motivated. shoot - she's got the most to lose. she'll be deported if she's fired. anyway, i learned all about "work sharing" & some a few other things. we'll see how it goes. time's running short & the final word is expected sometime this month. i hope the board votes NO but we'll have to wait & see.

in the mean time i've followed up on a possible job elsewhere. i'm not that interested in the job - but it doesn't hurt to find out more about it.

today was pretty fantastic. i've been waiting & waiting for a sunny weekend day. seems like it's been cold, cloudy & rainy forever. i worked in the garden last weekend & got caught in a downpour while planting onions. well, today was a gorgeous day & it also happened to be spring cleaning day at the garden. for the first time, i was excited to show up when i knew others would be there. it's hard to get into the zen of gardening when others are chatting you up, know what i mean? there weren't as many folks around as i'd expected. i chatted with a few but spent most of the 6 hours i was there preparing the beds for planting. last year's compost is all spread around. makes me so happy to dig through it & see all the happy worms still hanging out. got a good size pile going in it's place. (i actually scavenged people's weeds from the rubbish pile.) (p.s. flash knows my name & it's totally wierd!) i feel so great after working outside almost al day. sunshine, fresh air & physical labor make a difference.

i often wonder if i'd be happier if we lived the old fashioned way & had to do everything by hand. the simplicity of life would be a load off. you pretty much stay home all the time & work outside growing your food, caring for animals, washing laundry... sure, you wake up early & work really hard all day. but you're not driving anywhere & rushing around & trying to do 10 things at once. you're only doing one thing at a time & that's beautiful. but it might drive me crazy... i read this book called THE GOOD LIFE while we were on vacation in Oregon a few weeks ago. the premise of the book was pretty interesting - husband & wife leave their live in manhattan in the '30s & decide to farm in vermont even though they know nothing about it. that's exciting! they built a bunch of buildings out of stone & learned out to farm & make maple syrup & bartered for things they needed. cash was used very infrequently. i find the whole self-sufficient thing very intriguing. the idea that we really don't need much if we can grow our own food... the people in the book took it a little too far for me though. strict diet & all kinds of other wacky rules. i felt a lot better when i put that book down.

speaking of books - i read an INCREDIBLY BORING book about Alan Alda this week. i think it was his autobiography. there wasn't much of anything at The Book Thing last weekend & somehow i ended up with this terrible book. the man can't write. it was SO boring. but i read it anyway. why? i think it's laziness really. i wanted something to read & it was here. BUT now i started a new book - also from The Book Thing. it's much better. it's called BLUE HIGHWAYS but William Least Heat Moon. it's the account of this guy traveling all over the country in the late '70s. makes me want to pack up & get the hell out of here! there are so many adventures to be had!

ok - so i think that's all i've got for now. be good.

me & d in oregon

those crazy schluetermetz' being crazy

the rocky oregon coast - glad we didn't get a flat tire on the windy coastal highway. stupid rental cars!