bizarro world

so, we had this "team building" thing at work this morning... it was pretty lame. for several of the activities, we broke into pre-assigned groups. guess who was in my group of 6... that's right, mm was in my group. what the hell? somebody's got it out for me. our first group activity was listing all of the things we value in a work situation. most of us said things like "honesty, integrity, communication, openness..." mm contributed things like "sacrifice". huh.

our final activity was to create values statements for terms that our group was assigned. what did we get? honesty & integrity, of course. the whole time i was thinking it was all too bizarre. why did this happen? was i going to bust at the seams & go on my soap box about everything? i sure felt like it - though i know that's not something i would ever seriously consider doing. we had no productive conversation - we stole the values statement example from the lame facilitator, verbatim. she didn't even realize it. our conversation revolved around what our new email address should be. pretty productive.

on the way back to the office, i spilled my guts to my supervisor. it was kinda freaky at the time - the words were just pouring out of my mouth. anyone who knows me knows how well i hide my emotions/thoughts... all of my frustrations came out. my supervisor agreed with all of my criticisms & said he's voiced his opinion many many times over the years. but it always falls on deaf ears, so there's really no point in sharing my thoughts... i'm so grateful for the conversation because i feel heard & now know i'm not alone. lots of folks feel the same. thank god. when i got back to the office, my face was flushed & the intern asked if i'd been out doing some public speaking (because she knows i get flustered in that instance...).

i feel better.


so, that was my day.